Her sandals were torn so I gave her a pair of good shoes you had discarded because they had gone out of style. She was hungry, so I made her a meal from the roast beef you thought was too fattening. I felt sorry for her, so I brought her home. "Well, while I was driving along the highway, I saw this young girl here, looking tired and haggard. "Fine!" sobbed the angry wife, "but they will be your LAST words to me!" She screamed at him: "You're a pig! A pig with no honor! How dare you do this to me! I'm your faithful wife!" She was about to storm off, when her husband stopped her with these words: "Wait a minute, let me at least explain what happened!" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.Ī wife arriving home from a shopping trip was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being 8 again?" What a fabulous adventure!įinally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, exhausted. Then it was off to a movie, with popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&Ms. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.įive hours later they staggered out of the theme park. On the morning of her birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. “I’d like to be 8 again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. So I do it three or four times a day." Gene PerretĪ husband was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror.
"I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Question: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing Saturday & Sunday, I rest. Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth. Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Danny McGorty Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Lunch. Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: Idiot Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time."There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit.retire!" Groucho Marx Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes. Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many days are there in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday